Valentine Ramblings
The flowers and chocolates are in plenty. The girls in the office seem to have a competition as to who will receive the largest bouquet of red roses or the most amazing Swiss made, to-die for chocolates. There is a sense of excitement that clings like an aura on most of them. They are charged with an energy that makes their step light, airy and the smiles come easily. Happy Valentine seems to be the greeting on most lips. It sure feels like a holiday!
I am not part of that excitement. I am the silent observer, taking it all in as the men seem to get infected too. Valentine has always been a time that I am not in a relationship. What or who in the world sat and came up with valentine? A time when so much joy can be experienced by one person; while another curls up in foetal position, wishing for death to provide an escape so much needed.
In the recent years when my son became old enough to follow news, he has been my valentine. A time we sit and just are, playing silly games like making shapes with lights and shadows. And I go over the answers of what’s valentine and what it should mean. This year I am bereft for my valentine is away in school and I will be sitting alone and possibly attempt to play with the shadows.
My siblings seem to be concerned that I will be home alone. I have a lunch invite at one house and a sleepover at another. The concern is touching yet it irritates mildly. I am okay. I intend to be okay. I still consider the invites and go over for lunch, the sleepover not taken up. Tonight of all nights I want to be in familiar surroundings, sit around and indulge myself in a glass of wine, possibly put something down in my journal or watch a movie that has nothing to do with cupid and his arrows which he is clearly not aiming my way, let alone shooting.
I am home but am not alone. I have company. Someone who warms my heart and unwittingly causes my lips to curl up in a constant smile while a laugh gurgles over. It seems the universe knew exactly what I needed this day. A pair of hands so soft my heart weeps. A hug so small, yet strong enough to give me comfort. My three year old niece has refused to go home with her mom and wants to spend the evening with her auntie and sleep in her auntie’s bed.
We play with lights and shadows. We read a story. Sing and dance. Fall over laughing over silly sounds and jokes. Share a meal. My funny little valentine. A gift so much better than the chocolates and the roses. And I am renewed. Though my little man is not here, I got the next best thing. I got to share valentine with someone who loves him as much as I do.
I guess that’s what valentine is all about. Sharing a meaningful evening with someone who thinks the world of you. And you do too.
I am not part of that excitement. I am the silent observer, taking it all in as the men seem to get infected too. Valentine has always been a time that I am not in a relationship. What or who in the world sat and came up with valentine? A time when so much joy can be experienced by one person; while another curls up in foetal position, wishing for death to provide an escape so much needed.
In the recent years when my son became old enough to follow news, he has been my valentine. A time we sit and just are, playing silly games like making shapes with lights and shadows. And I go over the answers of what’s valentine and what it should mean. This year I am bereft for my valentine is away in school and I will be sitting alone and possibly attempt to play with the shadows.
My siblings seem to be concerned that I will be home alone. I have a lunch invite at one house and a sleepover at another. The concern is touching yet it irritates mildly. I am okay. I intend to be okay. I still consider the invites and go over for lunch, the sleepover not taken up. Tonight of all nights I want to be in familiar surroundings, sit around and indulge myself in a glass of wine, possibly put something down in my journal or watch a movie that has nothing to do with cupid and his arrows which he is clearly not aiming my way, let alone shooting.
I am home but am not alone. I have company. Someone who warms my heart and unwittingly causes my lips to curl up in a constant smile while a laugh gurgles over. It seems the universe knew exactly what I needed this day. A pair of hands so soft my heart weeps. A hug so small, yet strong enough to give me comfort. My three year old niece has refused to go home with her mom and wants to spend the evening with her auntie and sleep in her auntie’s bed.
We play with lights and shadows. We read a story. Sing and dance. Fall over laughing over silly sounds and jokes. Share a meal. My funny little valentine. A gift so much better than the chocolates and the roses. And I am renewed. Though my little man is not here, I got the next best thing. I got to share valentine with someone who loves him as much as I do.
I guess that’s what valentine is all about. Sharing a meaningful evening with someone who thinks the world of you. And you do too.
